Monday, July 6, 2009

The 2 Golden rules when using an elevator

Rule #1: When you've reached your desired floor and the door slides open for your highness, please place all your goals, ambitions and things you need to achieve in life before you die aside and try focusing on one thing only. GETTING THE F**K OUT AS SOON AS THE DOOR OPENS. Your selfish and single channeled mind might have not caught up with the fact that some elevators do not have those adorable sensors installed in them that automatically keep the doors open when people are going in or coming out. When your snail inherited ass takes it sweet time to get out, the door sometimes do slide shut the second you get out. The second class citizens that have been waiting for it end up waiting for the next sliding door to open and shed light and hope on their precious time and lives.

The next person I see taking more than a heart beat to get out will be shoved back in and forced to accompany me to the floor of my choosing. Before exiting I will make sure my fingers do that awesome xylophone effect on all the buttons so you practise getting out and back in like your life depended on it.

Rule#2: Has it ever crossed your mind that the reputation of yourself and your trampy mother will reach a new low when you enter an elevator before the people in it get out. If that doesn't bother you one bit, please consider taking ElevatorEtiquette101. I've noticed one thing all those idiots have in comon - LACK OF EDUCATION.

I've given up on waiting for people to change to the better.

Expect a meeting with a battering ram and your family jewels the next time you decide to enter an elevator before waiting for my departure.

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