Bored To Death - TV Series

Is gonna fuckin bore you to death! Please don't watch it. As soon as I saw the pilot I felt sick. Shwartzman haircut made me sick. Oh and the lighting! The lighting is the worst! The show is so dead. When I watched it I entered instant depression mode. There is something about this show that makes it suck. Its only the pilot, I know. But a pilot should be interesting enough for someone to invest time the following week to sit there ass down and watch episode 2. The more I continued to watch it the more I felt dead. I really don't know what type of people would enjoy such shows. Probably smelly people who got shit stains on there beanbag cause they jerk off butt naked to Brittany Murphy and stuff the tissue under the carpet.

Man I can't believe what this show got me writing. I was looking forward to September, to the new shows. Thanks to BTD, thats one shitty show I don't have to add to the list. If you really think this show is funny then keep it to your self. In fact, if I ever meet someone who likes this show or doesn't change the channel when its on, FUCK THEM. I don't want to be friends or even acquaintances with this person.

To sum up the pilot in a few words:- dull, boring, painful to watch, anyone with Schwartzman's haircut should face death penalty , and Zack should dedicate his life to smoking pot, and stop trying to be funny.

I will provide some visuals to save you 29 minutes of your life. Oh and before I forget. ITS HBO! WTF HAPPENED TO HBO! At one point I watched any series on HBO, cause they had class and knew whats good and bad -except Sex & The City.

This is the face you will be seeing until 'Bored To Death' gets the axe. Are you willing to go thru this every week?

Watch this show sink faster than whale shit*.

Given that its a big chunk, and of course, doesn't float.

Movie break

I've decided to take a break from watching 700 movies a day. I've been catching up with a few ended sitcoms like According to Jim and The King of Queens:) Watching everything shouldn't take me more than two weeks given I watch about a season every 2 or 3 days. Another mini-series I began watching which I would highly recommend is Angels In America. Another obsession which is slowly growing on to me is sports! Weird huh? I've been hooked to the superbike season ( WSBK and MotoGP) big time. MotoGP can be considered the Formula 1 for superbikes but I've really been enjoying WSBK ALOT more. Only problem is both events will be ending in November and be back in March-April. If anyone out there has any recommendations ( other than soccer, football, golf, hockey, WWE and UFC) please advise:). I'm considering watching some basket ball as that will start around the same time superbike ends, and the best part is it will end around same time MotoGP starts! So yeah I'll be busy watching something all year! Ofcourse other than the 25 other series and sitcoms I'm following.

Before I forget, I had seen G.I. Joe a few days ago at the movies and I was surprisingly very entertained! I must say I really enjoyed it. Way more than Transformers 2. Oh and one more thing. Seth Rogen sucks. I've given up on his repetitive dumb comedy and will consider watching his stuff again once he tries something different. I might cheat and watch Funny People, but that is the last movie I'm watching for him.

Never Surrender (2009)

They should've called it 'Never watch this crap'

I thought to my self that maybe if they had gotten GSP or Rampage or even that midget Penn to star in this movie, it might have been better. Guess what? They can't act for shit either. So they get the next worst thing, Hector Echadiarrhea. The production and release of Never Surrender sends out a very strong message to UFC fans, "F**K YOU!". I can't believe I was actually excited when I heard a movie with UFC fighters and one targeting UFC fans is out! Director Hector knew this one would suck so bad that he HAD to include a few to many titties for viewers not to turn it off and burn the DVD with a blue flame -he had forgotten we could access porn using the internet.

This movie hits the number one spot on my "Most shittiest movies of all time" list.

Enough said.

Actually, no, I haven't said everything I have to say.

What the **** is this?

"You sucha cutie when yer not breaking bones!"

For those who do not know Quinton Jackson. Next time you see him just try reenacting that scene. Before you do make sure you order your self a power wheelchair. Hector obviously paid Rampage alot of money to spare his life when he shot this scene.

DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE.

I WARNED YOU.

A list of actors I hate

1.Steven Seagal

2.Nicholas Cage

Puketherapy

Dustin Hoffman is coming extremely close of being added on that list. I've see Tootsie, hated it. The Graduate, began hating Dustin. At the moment I'm watching Kramer vs. Kramer and things aren't looking too good. I'm giving Hoffshit not one, but two more chances. I'll be watching Midnight Cowboy and Rain man in the coming days and that will determine my FINAL opinion of the Dustbin. To be fair and take credit where it is not due, Hoffman's face has really been damaging the liquid crystal on my flat panel, and any more viewings of ingenious incompetence will cost me another television. With the crisis and all, I really can't afford that at the moment, or ever.

The measures that have been taken to prevent hazardous toxic waste.

He has failed in my eyes as a trannie, a graduate who is missing the puberty gene, and a shitty father. I'm am yet to see him as a retard and as a male prostitute, and am finally moving on to the more important things in life.

The new Camaro blows!

I consider my self a muscle car lover. I'm guessing left and right road bends weren't invented yet as a term of reference for the engineers when the they decided to start building them. Still, owning a muscle is probably the sweet feelings in life a man can experience.

Now, please be kind enough and explain to me how can something this gorgeous go from looking like...

To looking like this...

and finally!!

I will tell you exactly what happened in the process of what is known as the biggest screw up in muscle car design history.

In 1969, the designer became partially visually impaired and came up with...

He was fired in 1981. Now thanks to the implementation of affirmative action, GM got the worste out of it. They should've kept thier pride and self respect and not fired Mr. I-can-hardly-see-jack-shit-anymore.

In 1982 it was publicly announced that Mr. I-can't-see-jack-shit has been hired.

This was the result.

Finally in 2008, the "Eat Light and Look Right" nutrition campaign couldn't only stop at food. GM had to push it and make thier vehicles look right too. The result?

BEFORE

AFTER

A Corvette on a diet and life sucked out of it.

I struggled alot in finding a picture of the backside of the new Camaro. Then I thought "Oh well, I'm sure the official website would have a photo", and they did, ONLY ONE! Looks like they're finally convinced what a f*ck up they had done and decided to hide its fuglyness as much as possible to the poor fanatics.

The only thing that caught my attention about the new Camaro was the interior, which was the only decent thing left not to critisize, and that was it really. Don't worry, I did not miss the sleak design of the front of the car, I made sure I got as much mucus on the hood the last time I saw one. The owner thanked me afterwards for how masculine my personal addition made the car look.

On a final note, I must mention the only manufacturer who pulled out in 1974 that deserves all the respect Cheverolet will never earn is Plymouth.

The Cuda.

Next (2007)

I am yet to find a single human being on this planet who is a Cage fan. I've seen over a dozen of his movies and I feel that he lacks a skill, which we know as... acting. The only movie I can frankly say I enjoyed was Lord Of War. The guys tone, character and cold blooded extremely annoying attitude has been the same since he decided to sign up for Hollywood. I was flipping thru my cable last night and "Next" was almost have way through. The first thing that catches my eye in Cage's movies is that, anyone can play the role he plays! The guy has no talent. For example in "Next" they couldve gotten any, and I mean any newbie to play his role and the movie would've gotten the same mediocre reviews by the viewers. Acting is one thing and trying to get your eyebrows to make out everytime the director shouts "Action!" is another. If you find your self repeatedly getting suicidal tendencies please watch 'The Weather Man' and die slowly. Cage is ripping us all off! You want acting? This is acting...

Or this...

Those two shots alone say a thousand words.

I've got my fingers crossed for the next competent recruits and cvs Hollywood will be looking at.

Shia LaBeouf seems like he'll be going places.